Cheers to Drama-Free Relationships
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Okay, or at least to my drama-free relationship. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve been in some of the suckiest, most annoying relationships you can imagine, but the one I’m currently in is a completely different story. For one thing, my man is older than the other boys I’ve dated. No, not “saggy balls” older, but 24. I’m 21. Not a big difference, but big enough to notice a difference.
Through the four-and-a-half months that we’ve been together, we’ve never fought (or have even come close to fighting) and he hasn’t even gotten on my nerves. That’s rare. Usually the guys I date annoy the crap out of me a couple weeks into the relationship with the little things they do that drive me up the wall.
I could say it’s our ages, because at 24 he is definitely more mature than other dudes I’ve dated, but it’s not like he’s the type that just sits at home all day doodling my name in hearts on a piece of paper (although I’m sure it’s secretly one of his favorite hobbies). He likes loves video games, goes out with his friends on the weekends, and is going to med school. He’s busy and he has a life. He’s a normal guy.
So when I think about what the big difference is between this relationship and past relationsh*ts I’ve been in, it’s not only because he’s smokin’, makes me laugh, and is by far the most amazing guy I know (shhh, don’t tell!), but there’s also one other ginormous key factor that’s definitely an added bonus – there’s no drama. And by drama, I mean easily preventable drama that anyone in a relationship can achieve if they just chill out and enjoy themselves.
Facebook Drama:
Let’s say you write your boyfriend a mushy wall post and he doesn’t respond. Uh oh, the shit’s about to hit the fan in relationship-world. But before you have a serious talk about the importance of him clogging up everyone’s news feed with your social media PDA, stop and think about it. First of all, is it really that big of a deal that he didn’t respond? As long as you can tell he likes you in real life, what’s your dire need to get him to “woo” you online as well?
As girls, we tend to get so worked up over the little things. We need to stop that. Some little things shouldn’t affect us in the least bit, such as your boy toy not writing you back. Honestly, he probably saw it, loved it, and that’s it – it didn’t even cross his mind to return the favor.
I’ve learned that Facebook is messy for any relationship. Don’t stalk their ex’s, save the mushy stuff for at home, and really think about whether you want the whole world to know that your dating life is “complicated” by changing your relationship status. Why do they even have that as an option anyways?
Phone Drama:
Texting, texting, texting. This seems like the biggest thing that creates problems in relationships. Ladies, let me tell you something – about 90% of guys don’t like to text. If your boyfriend isn’t texting you constantly throughout the day about how great your hair looked the night before, be happy that he actually has a life.
I won’t lie – if your guy sucks at showing affection when you’re together as well as when you’re apart, that’s not fun. But if you have a perfectly wonderful love life, then maybe a little bit of personal space throughout the day might not be too bad. And guess what…. you might even have something to talk about later when you do pick up the phone.
It’s actually really nice not having your phone glued to your hand all day. If he never responds to your texts, then that’s a different story, but if you expect him to respond within 30 seconds of every text you send him, you need to get yourself a hobby.
Friend Drama:
Let’s get something straight – guys have friends, and girls have friends. Some guys have friends that are girls, and some girls have friends that are guys. If you have a guy friend but don’t think your boyfriend should be able to have any other girl friends besides you, there could be a problem.
Jealousy is hard in relationships. If he’s hanging out with this so-called girl friend more than he is with you, it’s rough, and maybe he should be dating her instead. But if you know he’s 100% team-you and all for your relationship, then him having friends that are girls shouldn’t be an issue.
As for your boyfriend being able to hang out his guy friends… let him. If you try to control if he can or cannot go out with his boys for a night, your relationship isn’t going to work. He’s going to be irritated at you for not letting him do his thing and you’re going to be mad at him for him wanting to do his thing and leaving you behind.
You’re going to have a lot more love and respect for each other if you don’t try controlling each other’s lives. Your boyfriend, who you should be able to trust, should be able to go out and have a night with the guys without you worrying whether he’s going to do something you disprove of. The same goes for you. You should be able to go out with your girls for a night and he shouldn’t have to wonder if you’re out doing something stupid either.
Have that friend that always makes her boyfriend tag along on your girl’s night out? Yeah, that’s annoying. Make sure you aren’t being “that girl” when your boyfriend is out with his friends either. It’s awesome to go out with the group, but once and awhile let them have an estrogen-free night.
Bottom line – if you can’t trust the person you’re dating, you shouldn’t be with them. I know so many girls that don’t let their boyfriends out of their sight purely because they’re afraid of what they might do without them monitoring their every move. When my boyfriend wants to go out with his friends, I let him know that I’ll have a comfy, warm spot in bed next to me when he gets back.
Key Points:
Relationships should be enjoyable and the farthest thing from stressful. Don’t let little things like the drama-starters I mentioned above ruin something you have with a guy. I understand that it’s different when you’re not getting the attention and affection you need when you’re together. If that’s the case, you may want to think about whether you want to ditch this chump and get into a relationship with someone that actually knows what they have.
If everything is more than you could have ever hoped for when you’re spending time with the guy you’re with, remember that the next time you want to bring up something that you’re going to smack yourself for even mentioning later on. Don’t start a fight just to start a fight. If you can resist asking who the skanky girl that posted “hi” on his wall was, do it. Chances are it’s nothing and the mere mention of it will start a fire that shouldn’t have even been built in the first place.
Once you find someone you can see yourself sticking with for a while, sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. I’ve found that the best tip in keeping your relationship drama-free is just not starting the drama in the first place. It seems too easy and way too good to be true, but it is.
Now go pour yourself a glass of Moscato and raise it up for new beginnings. Let’s leave the drama where it belongs – back in high school.